I’m thinking of running away, but I can’t decide if I want to run off to Las Vegas, where I still might be able to get a job as a cocktail waitress, or to Costa Rica, where I might be arrested for camping on the beach. Actually, I should probably go to Costa Rica since I only know one person in Las Vegas and he’s a happily married man.
I’m not at all unhappy. In fact, I’m about the happiest person I know except for GMC employees who’ll get a 9 week paid vacation this summer. I’m just the kind of person who needs to do something outrageous quite regularly. It’s in my DNA I think. The last time I felt this way I adopted a blind, deaf, three-legged, wild, starving horse which has cost me a bundle…that’s why I have to sleep on the beach in Costa Rica instead of staying in a posh resort getting a pedicure.
I think the problem is that sometimes things become too annoying. Hysteria over the flu is the final straw. It’s been bad enough listening to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and the like have apoplexy everyday over B.O. and his agenda, but now the media is hyping the flu to distract everyone from the fact that Barrack is…well, I don’t want to get political. I’m the type of person who really, really tries to turn a deaf ear to everything political. I figure there’s no point in getting all riled up over things I can’t control…like the weather, Nancy Pelosi, horse poop, etc.
But, I’ve also been thinking that maybe I just need to go to a good rodeo instead of running away. I could drink beer, eat peanuts, be silly and look at all the cute cowboys. My favorite event, you know, is steer wrestling. Something about a man jumping off a galloping horse onto the back of horned animal and wrestling him to the ground paralyzes me with... well, I best not describe that.
My husband would probably prefer I just go get rodeo tickets somewhere. It’ll be cheaper than him having to fly to Costa Rica to bail me out of jail…again.