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Since Dad's departing, having to begin to work through all the things we have to do, then begin to make decisions to help his mother, continues to be hard. In fact, unfortunately one thing i battle w/when I am grieving is getting sick to my stomach. It isn't unusual, because I know others have had the same response.
No matter how hard I try to get a breather from it just for a little while, it seems that is when my husband needs me to listen to him, my oldest comes and needs a hug or whatever, my youngest has questions.
I know from past experience "time" is a key factor for all of us in our healing. Yet the transition from the time of grieving to the time where God has turned our mourning into joy, is something that I can only face sometimes in small doses of time.
I have family members on my side, who don't understand why I hurt to the depth I do. Long before this though, they did not understand nor accept me as I am.
There are many emotions that come and go, sometime, man if they don't hit all at once!
Whew! Many others have traveled this road, including me, all come out in some way different. They take they sorrow, and allow God to turn into a triumph~then others just seem to get a kick out of keeping it all stirred up.
Either way, come Monday I will have my hands full trying to get some services/help setup for mom at home; while initiating finding out information of getting things changed from having Dad's name on them to mom. Each place seems to require different things. Some of them Cleve has to call because he is the executor of the estate and they want to hear from him. Then I do the administrative stuff, as I have always done. Thing is, it is like salt being constantly poured on raw hearts. Ouch!
Well, today I will more than likely try to deviate from mourning just in hopes my stomach will settle down.

Views: 2

Comment by Melvin Graf on May 8, 2010 at 4:51pm
Lisa, thanks for sharing with us. I have been an "orphan" for over 20 years. Though I still miss them on occasion, time does make it easier. Logically, we all know that death is a necessary end but emotion can be much stronger than logic. I know that God will lead you and give you the strength you need (Ps 62:7). Don't forget too that your kids are always learning from you, including how to deal with death and loss. Happy Mother's Day! :)
Comment by Lisa Johnson on May 8, 2010 at 5:44pm
Thanks for understanding what we are experiencing. Just a few minutes ago my husbands mother called and was an emotional mess, so he had to run and be with her for awhile. She is hard to discern when it is real and when she is just demanding attention. Each day Dad was here was a challenge to know when she needed and when she wanted. Cleve and I know his mother will have a hard time for awhile, and we are too. But to constantly be on call now for her w/o a breather from this last week is exhausting.
Comment by Alf on May 8, 2010 at 6:01pm
Lisa,

Yeah its a ton of work trying to tie up the loose ends and legalities when a loved one passes. I had to do it for my Grandfather and for my Step Dad. The busy work actually helps keep your mind busy ....oh yeah, if I could be so bold as to give one small piece of advice---ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE. If you don't it has a really nasty way of sneaking up on you later. Remember that while you are being there for others, don't forget yourself and allow others to give you a hand or even just a hug.

Take care
ALF
Comment by Lisa Johnson on May 8, 2010 at 7:08pm
Thanks for the reminder Alf, I will take care of myself and give myself time as I need it bad!
Lisa

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